A Messianic Jewish Catholic's Journey
Having
been raised in a Conservative Jewish home in suburban Toronto, I was a
regular attendee at synagogue on Sabbaths and High Holidays. I sang in
the choir, assisted at a Hebrew school and lived a committed Jewish
life. My father is a Holocaust survivor from Poland and my mother’s
family escaped the pogroms in Russia. Both settled here in Canada
and raised my sister and myself in a Jewish and Yiddish speaking
environment where all of our friends were Jewish and Israel was our raison d’être.
Christianity was the religion of the outsiders, the faith of
anti-semites and Jew-haters, the creed of the Crusaders, Inquisitors,
Persecutors, and Nazis. Yet my mother would remind me continually,
nevertheless, that “Jesus was a Jew”.
One day I picked up a volume by the Yiddish writer Sholem Asche called The Nazarene.
I was awestruck by the Jewish Yeshua, who in no way resembled those who
hated us for two thousand years. Watching the film Jesus of Nazareth confirmed this, and listening yearly to Handel’s Messiah began to convince me as I examined the scriptural libretto to that magnificent oratorio.
Messianic
friends in the synagogue choir were praying to lead someone to the Lord
and I was the one that they brought to the tiny Messianic fellowship
that met in our neighbourhood. Without hearing a thing externally, the
Lord spoke to my heart and revealed Himself to me supernaturally. I
brought home a Hebrew New Testament, which my parents discovered. This
began an intensive time at home, but also the deepest friendship with
Yeshua.
I studied Hebrew and Greek in my undergraduate years
and began to look at the early Fathers as well. My first Greek
professor at the University of Toronto was a devout Roman Catholic,
with whom I struck up a wonderful faith-filled friendship. My degree
turned out to be one in Hellenistic-Near Eastern Studies; that is, the
Jewish writings of the Hellenistic period which included the New
Testament. This became my “Bible College” for four years.
During
this time, I became quite involved in our growing Messianic
Congregation as I began to teach and preach and do other ministries
around the congregation. Conferences in the US bolstered my joy in
Yeshua and connections with international and local Messianic believers
were an ongoing experience. I met my wife, Sue at the Congregation and
we raised our two sons in the Messianic Jewish faith and lifestyle
there.
When I was in teacher training 27 years ago or so I took
the Catholic Education course in order to allow me to teach in a
Catholic School. I did not end up teaching there, but I am still
certified to do so. However, I did a two week practicum in a Catholic
School and taught catechism to children and led them in prayers, not
having been Catholic. No-one suspected anything as I learned the “Hail Mary”
and went to mass for the first time. I was not sure why I took the
course, and friends who were former Catholics thought I was foolish.
There
were several Jewish Catholics attending our Messianic Congregation in
Toronto, with whom I had become friends. Needless to say, although I
was dismayed at their choice of connection, I had also learnt that the
Hebrew Catholics had been barred from membership in the Hebrew
Christian (now Messianic Jewish) Alliance. We later started attending a
large charismatic church, but kept our ties with the Messianic movement
by leading a monthly intercession meeting for Israel there.
I read many times the documents of Vatican II and was so happy about Nostra Aetate
and the new attitudes of the Church toward the Jews and Judaism. As
many know, the old attitudes and the way my people had been treated by
the Church during many centuries has left a deep wound in the hearts of
so many Jews and a very negative attitude toward Christianity and
toward those who become believers in Jesus. At the time I still felt
hurt by the Catholic Church because of the damage done to the Jewish
people in Poland and elsewhere. The late great John Paul had done much
to heal. This was a step in the right direction. Also, the Catechism is
extremely honouring of the Jewish people. I felt the deep need to
forgive the Catholic Church and also repented of my judgments.
When
very close friends of ours reverted to the Catholic Church they
suggested that we take a look at EWTN and it was there that I
discovered Mother Angelica and Marcus Grodi and have been watching ever
since. I was so surprised to discover a beautiful, faith-filled,
non-performance oriented, loving and passionate Christianity I had
never seen--the doctrinal concerns notwithstanding: Mary, the Communion
of Saints, and Purgatory, to name a few. The Journey Home has been my
constant friend since beginning to watch EWTN several years ago. My
heart was being drawn in very unexpected ways.
I began to
become involved with contemplative prayer through a series of dreams
and directions from friends at my church and began to read about
St.Teresa of Avila and St. John of the Cross. I started looking at
Henri Nouwen's writings and the lives of the saints, and I was
overwhelmed by a Presence of Jesus I had never experienced before and I
determined to seek more. I continued to watch EWTN and Salt and Light,
and they have been practically my only TV watching ever since. The
power of the love of God is so evident and the truth and honesty is so
prevalent.
When my sister passed away in the fall of 2007, it was
to the quiet, restful sanctuary of a Catholic Church--St Timothy in
Toronto that I turned. The Lord met me powerfully as I gazed at His
Cross and the Stations of the Cross. Then it was during Lent last year
that my wife and I decided to attend a Tuesday evening course on
The Spiritual Life taught by the parish priests at St Timothy and
focusing on Ralph Martin's book The Fulfillment of All Desire,
and it was there that I encountered the Mass in person. I had watched
it on EWTN, but now I began to experience the REAL PRESENCE IN THE
EUCHARIST and I was overwhelmed, to say the least. I wanted to partake,
but after talking with a priest, learnt that I could not. Since that
time I have loved the mass, both in Latin and English and was delighted
to learn that it is said in Hebrew in several Hebrew Catholic
Congregations in Israel.
My wife and I attended the Lift Jesus Higher
Rally one April and it was at the Adoration and Divine Mercy segments
that we were so touched. I felt I needed to explore this "Catholic
Thing" further. Still watching Mother Angelica and Marcus Grodi, plus
Fr. Groeschel and others led me on. I met other Hebrew Catholics on TV:
Debbie Herbeck, Bob Freedman, Roy Schoeman, and David and Rosalind
Moss. I began reading different Catholic Websites including: Salvation
is From the Jews; The Association of Hebrew Catholics and one
especially, Catholics for Israel. I began an intermittent
correspondence with several Messianic Jewish Catholics.
It was
then that my friends suggested I look into RCIA just for interest, with
no pressure. I met with the parish priest and then began RCIA studies
with a very learned man at St. Timothy's. Because I have been a
believer for over 30 years, with experience in ministry and Bible
teaching, etc they suggested I have private RCIA classes.
We then
came in contact with Christ the King in Ann Arbor when our son went to
Bowling Green University in Ohio and it was there we met the father of
that parish who showed us the RCIA study sheets they used. These are
question and answer types that have one use the Catechism to answer the
questions. These classes at RCIA with my teacher have been a delight to
both of us as I have been sharing the Protestant and Jewish connections
to Catholic issues, etc. We discussed those doctrinal "chestnuts" that
I mentioned above. Each time we did a study, I was convinced by the
Lord of the truth of those doctrines and they have become part of me.
We have since visited Christ the King seven times and have come to love
the congregation, the priest and deacons, and the people and see it as
a second parish;
I began to ask God if I was to become Catholic;
I wanted to do the right thing considering my Jewish background, my
Messianic connections and the work I have been doing. Hitherto I had
felt no pressure to come into the Church from anyone, except a few
encouragements from friends at St Timothy who said that they were
praying for me that God would show me what His will--whatever it
was--to me. I read Edith Stein's bio and asked the Lord at Epiphany to
please send me some Hebrew Catholics to speak with me to confirm that
it was OK for a Messianic Jew to become a Messianic Jewish Catholic.
And the Lord said to me, "I have sent you one already [i.e. Edith
Stein] what more do you want?” I knew then that was it, I have sensed
intercession from St. Teresa of Avila and St. Edith Stein--both Jewish
believers in Jesus. I feel them urging me on with our Lady, whom
I now call, MIRIAM IMEINU (Hebrew for "Miriam our Mother").
Another
interesting story: Perhaps because Lent is almost upon us, the
Sacrament of Reconciliation is on people's minds. I had just finished
preparing for my class on this sacrament, when I turned on EWTN and there
was Fr. Trigilio speaking about the very same thing. My wife took me to
mass at our Cathedral Valentine's Day as a gift and what did the Father
speak on? Reconciliation. We did our class on Reconciliation in RCIA on
Sunday and the Archbishop of Toronto, who was the homilist Sunday
evening, spoke about – guess what? A fifty-year old man coming into the
Catholic Church and experiencing the freedom and joy of Reconciliation
for the first time. Well, I was 51 and was about to experience that
very same thing. To top it off the scripture was from the Gospel of
Mark and my name is Mark. Coincidence? I think not. Thank you, St.
Teresa.
So... one Saturday evening Mass I experienced the Rite of
Welcoming. The following Saturday was my first Confession (I had to
confess 32 years of sin and guilt since my baptism and for the first
time I feel truly forgiven and free of guilt and shame) and at the
Easter Vigil I was Confirmed and had my first Communion. Having
listened to priests say “The Body of Christ” to others became music to
my ears when I was able to receive the Body and Blood of the Lord for
the first time. Wow. What a gift. I felt like dancing.
The most
remarkable thing is that I see the Jewishness of it all. For example,
the synagogue has an Eternal Light hanging over the Ark where the
Torahs are kept; the Catholic Church has a Light lit near the
Tabernacle where the “Torah made flesh’ is kept. There is a long table
in the synagogue for the Torah; there is an altar for the Eucharist in
the Church. There are scripture readings and prayers chanted in the
synagogue; the Church has scriptures and prayers read and sung. The
Lord Yeshua has been the centre of all of my experiences, from my
Jewish upbringing to the Messianic Congregation, to the charismatic
church and now, in the Catholic Church.
If anyone had ever said
to me years ago that this would be happening I would have told them
they were dreaming. Yet my story is a dream come true. The Lord had
given me many more mercies and favours and great friends in the
intercession group at St. Timothy. I have begun to tell some of my
other believing friends and many have been intrigued, but most have
been accepting. Jesus is a real Person to me at Mass and not just a
theory or an experience. The richness in history, writings, tradition,
and the manifold “colours” of the Catholic tradition are so beautiful.
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